CUTTER CONSULTING GROUP

E164: Always Make It Personal with Roxana Radulescu – Part 1 of 4

January 6, 2024


How do you define personal development, and why do you think it's important in sales?


My guest for this next 4-part series is Roxana Radulescu. She is an amazing person focused on helping people become better leaders, and that everything in life is “personal” – which I completely agree with. She is also my second Canadian guest for Season Two and my first TedX Presenter on the show. 


In Part 1, Roxana and I talk about:

  • What it’s like to do a TedX
  • How much of the professional person’s efforts you see, vs. what happens off the field
  • How “It’s Just Business” is incorrect


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Connect with Roxana on LinkedIn


Roxana’s Bio:

Roxana is the Founder of All Personal, a bespoke training and consulting company. She works with corporate, small businesses and non-government organizations, and helps them build skills muscles to create innovative workplaces!


Born and raised in Romania, having worked in international Magic Circle law firms for 16 years and having led the Learning & Development department for 8 years, she moved to Canada in March 2017, together with her husband and two kids, and has been, since then, in a constant journey of ‘self-building’. She started Life 2.0 (as she titled her initial blog), both as an immigrant and a woman entrepreneur. She has so far worked with teams and individuals in Europe and Canada, in various industries: digital marketing, financial consulting, IT, legal, non-profit, real estate, recruiting, social media.


Roxana is a TEDx speaker and a Master Coach. She holds a diploma in Learning & Development and a certificate in Human Resources from the Chartered Institute for Personnel and Development in the UK, as well as a Master of Arts in Knowledge, Information and Project Management from the University of Bucharest, Romania.


The Podcast

Her podcast series, All Personal, turns the good old saying ‘nothing personal, just business’ upside down, and proves that, in fact, it’s all personal, nothing is just business. She talks to people who are passionate about what they do and are ready to share their ‘skills muscles’ discovery stories to inspire others. 


The Articles

She is also a contributing author to organizational blogs, newsletters and magazines:

The Law Office Management Association (TLOMA) – Article Series on Leadership

Digital Business Women eMagazine, interview: Roxana Radulescu on why it’s All Personal

Training Journal (UK), article: Nodding doesn’t guarantee listening – so, what does?

Young Women in Business Toronto blog series: (Pod)casting our skills muscles


You can reach out to Roxana directly, and follow her on social media:

Phone: +1 647 568 1596

Email: all@personalskillscoach.com

Website: www.personalskillscoach.com

FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/personalskillscoach/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/roxradulescu/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/roxana-radulescu-profile/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQJPPzkpd-i4R2TceaUrAsA/featured?view_as=public

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/allpersonal 

  • Show Transcript

    Jason: Welcome to the sales experience podcast. My name is Jason Cutter, and in today’s episode I have Roxanna Radulesco. Did I say that right? Alright, perfect. Now her company is called all personal and as the founder, she is a consultant, trainer, master coach. You know somebody at the gym would help someone to get in shape and meet their goals. She works with companies to help with everything from feedback and communication and coaching, mentoring managers, executives, Roxanna officially, welcome to the sales experience podcast.


    Roxana: Thank you so much for having me and for this introduction.


    Jason: Yeah, and all the way from Canada, my second Canadian guest on season two, which I’m super excited. I had one on season one and now I have two on season two so far and I’m super excited and I believe you have the title of being the first Ted X speaker I’ve ever heard on the podcast. So tell me a little bit about that experience as a total side note and if anyone wants to fast forward to the sales stuff you can, but I’m super curious like how did that go? As you know for the Ted talk, the prep and then doing it.


    Roxana: Yeah. Well it’s actually now that you’re saying that it’s actually a little bit connected to selling because you have to fill in a form and let people know where you want to talk about before they accept you to speak for any TEDx events. So, and it has to be inline with their theme, with what other speakers want to talk about. So you have to be a good fit for their team. Right. So there’s a lot, there is a selling element in that as well. You have to be really clear of what you’re offering and what you can help them with and what your big idea is and how you’re or your big idea is going to help them have a great event. So that I, and the rest is just you. I what I did is just search for TEDx events and I started applying as a speaker and then these guys got back to me and then we had a conversation about more in depth of what I wanted to talk about and then they said, yeah, okay. It would be happy to have you be a part of our sneaker team. So that’s how it went for me. And then going there, it was here in Canada, in Chatham, Kent. We went there and evening before the actual event and had a little prep,


    Roxana: uh, before the event. So for me it was the lights coming into my eyes. Oh my God. And that they made me forget what I was supposed to say in the evening before I was like, Oh my God, if this is going to happen to me tomorrow, I will blank out and I will not say a word. So I went back to the hotel and I rehearsed with a lamb. I didn’t just turn it, I was just put it in my, the light in my eyes. And that’s how I rehearsed that whole evening so that I get more comfortable with the light being in my eyes. And that’s how I did it. The next day. It went well


    Jason: Like being interrogated in the movies where they’re interrogating a witness or somebody that’s been, yeah.


    Roxana: this is, I mean, you know what, and it’s putting that kind of pressure and stress on yourself before you actually go there and experience the pressure and the stress of the actual events. So you have to get comfortable a little bit with the uncomfortable before it starts being more uncomfortable cause that’s when you can manage it properly. Otherwise it’s going to be overwhelming.


    Jason: Which I think, you know, like anything in life, right? This is a sales podcast helping sales people and sales leaders, but it’s like that with anything, whether it’s a TEDx talk or a sales presentation or anything else that you’re doing for the first time, there’s kind of the practice, the preseason, there’s what you think will happen in your mind. There’s all of your prep and then there’s once it actually happens, in my experience, a lot of that goes out the window, especially the first time you really do it. And so yeah, it’s about, I’m glad they got to put you on the stage and put you under that and then basically show you what it’s really going to be like instead of that being the first time. A lot of people do something for the first time they jump into it and then it’s terrible that first time.


    Roxana: Yeah, I, I’m happy this happened. And because I do believe preparation goes a long way. It’s everything in life and everything you do it the, the prep is crucial. So for me that was very important to know what it feels like.


    Jason: Yeah. Well, and that’s what’s interesting too, and a lot of salespeople don’t realize this as, and I make the correlation with a sports is that what you see on the field, what you see on the Ted talk stage, what you see from a true professional salesperson is only a small percentage of what went into that. Right? Like a, you know, a sports team playing on the field or on a court may, that might be five or 10% of their week or of their time spent and crap. And then that’s what you see and everyone thinks, okay, you just show up and do it. But there’s some prep and uh, and getting ready for it.


    Roxana: Yeah, for sure. A lot of friends, three minutes of performance, that’s not, that’s not going to give you the amount of preparation that comes with it.


    Jason: Nope. Nope. You just got to do it. Now let’s get to a different topic. Something I want to really start our conversation off is with talking about your podcast. So it’s called all personal, just like your brand and your business. And I love your focus and this is something I want to talk about where generally the old mantra is it’s not personal, it’s business, right? And then you take a different approach, which it’s basically all personal and nothing is just, isn’t this? Which I think is a huge thing anywhere within the org chart within the chain with for salespeople, business owners, managers, whatever. And so I love that. That’s your focus about it being all personal.


    Roxana: Yeah, it is because, and for me it’s, and again, talking about preparation. So I’ve been doing learning and development for the past. I don’t know more than 10 years now and I’ve seen people who had this learning focus. You have this growth focus and who really what. They were very good at what their passion was and what they wanted to improve and what they needed to improve to get them to the next level. These are the kinds of people that grew so much either as part of the same company or going out and becoming business owners or working for somebody else. But this is the kind of personal skills muscles that they worked on and that kind of work that they did on themselves was immediately visible in their professional environment in how they grew as professionals. You’ll never grow just as a professional. You also need to grow personally and you never grow just personally. That will take you to the next level in your professional life as well. 


    Roxana: That’s what bothered me a lot where yeah, you just leave your personal sales at home while you’re at work and then coming back from work, you leave work behind and then you’re at home. It doesn’t work because it takes a lot of energy and a lot of feelings and a lot of emotions and all of the thought processes, they do not stop the moment that we just come in, uh, back home or are we just entered the office environment, they are our thoughts, everything. We are, all of our belief systems, all of our values, everything we are just goes with us everywhere we go. So it cannot work that way on the longterm, right. This is why I say it’s all personal and nothing is just business because it’s all about we are and what we want from us and where we want to go.


    Jason: And I think one of the keys that I’ve seen, and I, I know I stick with this for myself and I try to encourage other people to do this as well, is that you’re also not two different people, right? Like you’re talking about, you know when you leave work, all of that stuff is still in your head and it’s still going with you. Obviously when things are going great, it’s easier to compartmentalize because they’re like, work was great. Now I’m going to go with my personal life. My personal life is great. It’s not going to carry over into work just because I clocked in or I showed up for work. When things are going bad or negative, then it’s hard to separate and leave it. I know from my own experience like that can be really hard, but then there’s also the fact that everyone, you are who you are.


    Jason: Some people try to pretend and be something different, act a different way, and truly come from a different place when they’re at work versus when they’re in their personal life versus when they’re at a club or a sport or activity, whatever that might be like. And so I think I firmly believe that you are who you are and when you try to pretend to be two different people, it doesn’t work because you can’t maintain that longterm. Versus if you just are who you are and you’re authentic and you’re being the person that you want to be and you like being, it will work or it won’t work in whatever relationships and career you have. And you know you’ve got to find the right place.


    Roxana: Exactly. And you know what? It’s different. Yeah, it’s true. You have different kinds of relationships with people that you interact with. The relationship is not, it’s not going to work in the same way with everybody. Right. Because we all have different personalities. We interact differently with one another. And basically I’m going to be maybe speaking with you, we even right now as we speak, maybe differently than I would be speaking when I am a coach and I’m just coaching one of my clients for instance. Right? But that doesn’t mean that I forget everything I am in between right now when we speak, I will still keep my beliefs and my values in place and talk to you coming from that place, right? I’m not gonna try to be somebody that I’m not because it does take and honestly I do appreciate people who can do it because it does take a lot of effort to do that. It’s just that on the long run it doesn’t work because it’s, it just gets you exhausted.


    Jason: All right. That’s it for part one of my conversation with Roxana. Please make sure to go to cutterconsultinggroup.com/podcast where you can find this episode with the transcripts and all of Roxana’s links for where you can find her. So for her website, for LinkedIn, for the Ted talk that she did, all of that is amazing. And please make sure to support her, check out her information, especially if you need anything for your business or your team regarding communication, especially if you’re in Canada, which is where she’s at. But she is amazing and we had a lot of fun on this conversation. So make sure to check out part two tomorrow. And as always, keep in mind that everything in life is sales and people remember the experience you gave them.


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By Jason Cutter February 19, 2025
What does it take to build the ideal Sales Experience? Why does it even matter? Maybe you think you already have one. You are a professional sales ops leader. You have put everything you can in place to help your salespeople sell more. You have optimized the processes so that your sales team can focus on one thing – selling. But I promise – even if you think all of that is true, it’s not. The Reality: No Perfect Sales Experience Exists I have never seen any company or team with the ‘ideal’ Sales Experience and operation. And to be honest – I have never built one successfully. Why would I admit that? Because the ideal Sales Experience is aspirational and business, teams, processes, and customer needs/desires are constantly changing. So as soon as you put new processes in place, something else needs to change and evolve. The Scalable Sales Success Iceberg In my Scalable Sales Success Iceberg – there are 24 categories that, when built out, create a scalable sales machine – where you can add in an input and get way more output. I would love to see companies have all 24 categories set up and running optimally. But that’s not even possible – because, as I mentioned, things are always changing. Focusing on the Biggest Levers Here is the key – to build the ideal Sales Experience takes focus on the biggest levers. The ones that, when pulled, create the biggest and best results. There are many processes and systems that you can put in place – but those are going to get you a few percentage points of improvement. Instead of putting it all in here, I want to make you a special offer. Email me at jason@sellingeffectiveness.com with your mailing address, and I will mail you the book that I co-wrote with Nick Glimsdahl called Reasons Not To Focus On The Sales Experience. It will be your starter guide, facilitating the creation of your ideal Sales Experience.
By Jason Cutter February 18, 2025
The Numbers Game Mentality is a Losing Strategy Sales is no longer a “numbers game.” You cannot succeed, long term, by focusing on volume of activity. Making a million dials, sending a million emails, knocking on a million doors (the first two are way easier than that last one) is a scorched earth strategy that will sink your business. You can’t out-dial a bad sales process. It will lead to even more bad online reviews. You can’t out-email a terrible sales funnel process that requires people to jump through poorly planned hoops. You can’t out-knock your way past slimy tactics and bad products/services. The Danger of the "Every No Gets Me Closer to a Yes" Mindset The whole “every no gets me one step closer to a yes” mentally is dangerous. That mindset and strategy assumes that it’s a numbers game. That the only thing that matters is finding the right person who will buy from you. Potentially, no matter what you even say – they are just ready to buy. Not only will this destroy any online reputation you have it will also wreak havoc on your team. It is the fastest and best way to burn out your team. It will lead to a revolving door or hiring, training, and quitting as people realize how unfun the game is you have built and how hard it is to be successful. It will also feel like a mismatch – very few people (and hopefully even less over time) are long-term excited about the business model of calling 500 people a day in hopes of making a few sales. If It’s Not a Numbers Game, Then What Is It? It’s quality over quantity. [Now…note – it does take a certain quantity of activity to fill a sales pipeline. So I am not saying that your sales team can just sit and wait for people to fall into their pipeline with money in hand.] It’s about the Sales Experience. It’s about your team ensuring that they are providing the right and best experience for that potential customer – in a way that sets them up to get into the buying mood and mode. All that matters is the Sales Experience. How can you support your team in terms of the quantity of activity to fill a pipeline, and then the quality of interaction that leads to sales? What Does an Ideal Sales Experience Look Like? What does that look like – the ideal Sales Experience? It’s when your team understands that the potential customer they are speaking with only cares about themselves. They don’t care about the salesperson, your company or the product. They are only focused on themselves. It’s when the Discovery/Empathy portion of the conversation is the most important part. Does your team realize that everything after Discovery – when done right – is just a presentation of the solution? It’s the fact that when you combine the parts of the Authentic Persuasion Pathway (Rapport + Empathy + Trust + Hope + Urgency) that the assumptive close is all you need. If your team is having to ask for the sale they are doing sales wrong. And don’t confuse earning the right to close with asking for the sale. The Sales Leader’s Role in Creating a World-Class Sales Experience Your job as a sales leader is to ensure your team understands that the only thing – above all else – is the sales experience they provide to each potential customer. That customer knows that they have the power and the feeling of unlimited choice. Which means they will decide who to give their money to based on the experience they have with buying from a company. How can you shift your team away from the numbers game mentality to actually providing a world class sales experience to each and every person they speak with?
By Jason Cutter February 17, 2025
The Abundance of Options Today we all have lots of options. While writing this I could speak into my phone and order whatever I want. I can get food delivered before I finish writing this article. I could get a TV delivered to my door before I wake up tomorrow. When someone wants to buy something, they are armed with as much information as they want to access. They can research, read reviews, and watch videos about a product or company. The Shift in Power to the Buyer Because of this, the power balance of sales has shifted away from the salesperson and company to the buyer. Knowledge is power – and they now have all the knowledge they want. With knowing that they have ultimate choice of what to buy (internet and globalization has led to the ability to order anything you want from anywhere…so you are no longer limited to the stores you can drive to and what they have on hand), it means that everything is a commodity in their minds. Nothing is unique or special. Everything is interchangeable. Does the Sales Experience Even Matter? So, this means the sales experience doesn’t matter anymore. There is no reason to put effort into the sales process, the conversations with potential customers. No value in spending time trying to ‘help’ people – since they just view products, salespeople, and companies as interchangeable. You are not special, so there is no benefit in caring. They will walk into your store, and they will decide what they want. They fill out your online for, and they decide if they answer when you call and how the call will go. They walk up to your event/booth, and they decide how the interaction will go and if they want to listen to your elevator pitch. They will let you know if they are interested in moving forward. They will let you know how they want to buy. So, like I said above, there is no real value anymore in the sales experience. Or could it actually be valuable? Is it possible that all that matters IS the sales experience? If people feel they have ultimate information and control of the buying process, how do they decide on what to buy and who to buy from? When I search on Amazon for a product type I have never purchased before, how do I pick? When I want to go shopping for garden supplies for the house, how do I pick where to go? When I need to buy a new fridge, who will I hand my money over to? The cheapest place with terrible service? The place with reasonable prices and great service? The Sales Experience Shapes the Decision I choose based on the sales experience that I will receive. With everything else being equal, I (and I believe most people) will select the place to shop at or the products to buy online based on the experience I receive. To me all that matters is the experience. While I am trying to buy something. Once I receive it – ensure it does what I need it to do. With the feeling of unlimited choices, it can actually be harder now to buy something that in the past. People get into analysis paralysis more often. Which means that for consumers to buy something new they need help. They need a professional salesperson. They need a sales experience that matches their expectations. They want a guide who will help them make the right decision for them, with an experience that goes above and beyond what more people receive any more when they walk into a store, call a company’s toll-free number, or visit a website and have to fill out a form. If you want to succeed in sales – the only thing that matters is the sales experience you provide.
By Jason Cutter February 13, 2025
The Balance of Effort in Sales The blogs this week have been about the other person going most of the way. Whether it’s a prospective customer and your salesperson, where the salesperson truly can’t want the deal or make most of it happen for that customer to truly be successful. On the path for that prospect to becoming a customer, they should go at least 51/49. Whether it’s your team and their manager, the manager can’t want the team to succeed more than the team actually wants it for themselves. It’s not scalable for the coach (manager) to run on the field every play to win the game for the salespeople. What about sales ops processes and systems? What about the tools available to the sales team and the ones that are classified as sales enablement? In a reversal of philosophy, I believe the sales ops processes should go 90, the team should only have to go 10. Why Do We Need Salespeople? Let’s start where it matters – what is the point of having salespeople? I know many owners question the need and desire to have salespeople. They are hard to manage, tough to deal with, always want more money (potentially for doing less work and closing less deals), and are very resistant to change. Of course, that is a generalization. Of course, there are salespeople who don’t check those boxes. However, having worked with a lot of teams in a lot of industries, that generalization isn’t completely wrong or unfair. So if there is even a small part of that which is accurate, why would we even mess with the messiness of having salespeople? Of needing to employ and manage humans? The Human Element in Sales We need them. That’s why. Even in 2025, AI and technology has not successfully replicated the requirements of sales – which is about helping a human (prospect/customer) make the right decision and move outside of their comfort zone to buy something new. It still takes your human (salesperson) to persuade that other human. It’s why I say all the time that its not B2B, B2C, Retail, SaaS, etc. – it’s H2H. Sure, people can buy something online or even in a store without speaking to someone. But if it’s a considered purchase where there are options and decisions to be considered – it still takes a human being involved. That means ultimately your human (salesperson) has one job, and one job only – persuade the right prospective humans to buy. Minimizing Distractions for Salespeople Everything outside of that mission, task, focus is a distraction that takes away from their highest and best use. Imagine if we had a surgeon who had to prep the room, prep the patient, schedule the surgery and meetings, and do all the parts of the surgery themselves. Nope – they show up for the surgery and do what they do best. Then they take off their gown, gloves, and walk away to get cleaned up and move on to the next thing. Your goal as a sales ops leader is to support the team with systems and processes that allow them to focus on the one thing you need them for. The human part. It would be amazing if they could show up, talk to people, and make sales happen. Of course, there is more that they (and any professional) need to do before, during, and after the sales conversation. But your goal is to minimize all that. Every hour that your salespeople aren’t selling or doing sales-related activities, they aren’t moving revenue forward. The Ultimate Goal of Sales Ops What processes can you put in place that go 90 percent of the way, where the salesperson can do the last 10 percent? An example would be building an email campaign that runs automatically, and when the right people reply, the salesperson gets involved in getting that person from email to phone call. Another example would be your CRM serving up people for the salesperson to call – leads or anyone in the sales pipeline flow – with all the backstory, research, data, intel needed for them to review it then take action. What can you put into place that takes away as much distraction and effort from your sales team such that they can focus on the one thing you need to focus on – other humans?
By Jason Cutter February 12, 2025
The Danger of Doing Too Much as a Sales Leader Alright – so maybe they don’t need to go 90. In true servant leadership mode, you would go way more than 10% of the way to your team. But you have to be careful, as a sales leader. The inclination might be to do it all for them. To help them close their sales. To make excuses for them to your leadership as to why they aren’t closing more sales. Especially considering the very high likelihood that you are a sales manager because you were a great salesperson in the role that you are now managing. And there is a slight chance that you are a player-coach…so you are leading and selling. This can make it really tough not to want to run out on the field to win the game each time. But that doesn’t scale. That doesn’t lead to increased results. You can only sell so much as one person. Creating a Culture of Ownership So, you need to have people on your team that are coming to you. What does that look like? The pinnacle is a salesperson who doesn’t close a deal, comes to you right away and asks for feedback. They want some critiques as to where they could have done things better, different that would have led to the desired result – a closed sale. That takes a healthy level of ego by a professional who has the ultimate growth mindset. They know there are always ways to improve. They want to improve. And they are willing to risk their ego (and the internal, protective, primal part of our brain that doesn’t want to risk our place in the tribe) by asking for feedback that could be negative. Whenever you can, encourage that type of response. Ensure that the team knows that the team itself, and you as their leader, is a safe space – where the goal is to improve, grow, win and that everything done to support each other is done in that mode. They truly have to feel safe to share their mistakes and to get support in learning how to do more, better. Feedback That Drives Growth Part of this takes team and individual meetings that are actually filled with positive support. That doesn’t mean it’s always positive, motivational fluff. It’s not even about the shallow strategy of the feedback sandwich. Its about being real, honest, and empathetic – meaning “I see you are here, I know you want to be there, I will help you get there – even if its hard and it means saying hard things.” It should never feel mean or abusive or like an attack. But you can give some really direct feedback that will sting that ego I mentioned, but the person will know the intent behind it. The second part is hiring this type of person. Hiring people for the team that wants to win, grow, succeed. And they know that you don’t get better by being coddled, sheltered, or protected. You want people who don’t like the thought of perpetually living safely in their comfort zone. And they are excited about the opportunity to be a part of a team that pushes everyone, empathetically, outside of their comfort zone. Are You Leading or Just Managing? If you find yourself as a leader having to push your team, or going to them most of the time, or most of the way mentally – then they see you as a manager not a leader. They see you as someone who manages them, pushes them, and wants them to do things they don’t want to do. I have written some blogs here that go into what your role should be – as a leader, not a manager. Pulling people along with you, inspiring people, and supporting yourself with a team of people who want to win. Not just those that want to show up, do as little as they can and hopefully go unnoticed (yet – complain about not making enough money and how the comp plan isn’t fair, or the leads are bad, or their schedule means they can’t be successful.) Make sure your team knows that they need to come to you – at least 51/49. They should be asking for help, guidance, training, feedback, and support more than you are having to push it down onto them.
By Jason Cutter February 3, 2025
If you have seen the movie Hitch, then you know the scene. Will Smith’s character (Hitch) is trying to coach Kevin James’ character (Albert) on how to finish out his upcoming first date. He is giving him pointers, one being that if his date fumbles with her keys at the door, it could mean she wants a kiss. So Hitch wants to see if Albert knows what to do – for a good night kiss. Hitch gives him the advice “you go 90 percent, and then wait for her to go 10%” which Albert then asks “wait for how long?” Hitch: “as long as it takes.” Albert leads in, Hitch is holding back to see if Albert will wait, and then Albert goes all the way and gives him a kiss. Hitch gets upset, and says “You go 90, I go 10 – you don’t go the whole 100%.” The Sales Analogy Kissing our prospective customers is not acceptable (just ask HR!). But the concept is the same. You don’t want to ever make 100% of the effort for your prospective customers. You don’t want to be the one who is doing all the work. Fundamentally, it is not good practice to want the deal more than the other person. When you go your 90, you need to wait – as long as it takes – for the prospect to go to their 10. And I would say that you want to go somewhere between 10-49, in reality. How Successful Sales Professionals Balance Effort Successful sales professionals know how far they have to go to meet the prospect where they are, while also knowing how much effort the prospect needs to put in to show they are committed. Where most salespeople get in trouble is they get desperate. They want the sale (kiss) more than the other person and they go the full 100%. Of course, persistence is important. And you won’t get what you don’t ask for (although…if you have followed me for any length of time, you will know I am very against having to ask for the sale). But you also have to ensure that your prospects actually want what you are selling. And they want it for their reasons and their motivations. They are driven to pursue your production option(s). They must go 10, 40, 60% of the way to you. The Pitfall of Chasing Your Prospect Just like courtship and relationships – if you find yourself chasing and one-sided-pursing the other person then it means you want it more than they do. It also means they own you. You are essentially begging them for the relationship – convincing, manipulating, begging, bribing, persuading your way forward. Which means they consciously and/or subconsciously know that they are in control. Because if they say no, you will keep pursuing and offering solutions. In sales – that looks like a salesperson who is calling, emailing, stalking a prospect – making offers, offering discounts and trials, and trying to find any way to make deal work. They are going 90-100% of the way for the prospect, not requiring them to go anywhere towards the agreement. This will end terribly. If they do decide to buy – taking the discount, free trial, taking the sale bait – they will not be happy (since they weren’t bought in for their reasons), they will look for reasons confirming why they didn’t really want to buy anyway, and they will know that they own you. Your company will have to convince them on a regular basis to stay in the relationship. The Right Balance for Customer Ownership You fundamentally need that prospective customer to come to you. Not 100% where you are just an Order Taker. But potentially 51% of the way – so they want it more than you. The more you can get them across that 50/50 threshold, the more they will be a satisfied customer. But remember – at 51/49 – they still need persuading, they still need to understand the value of your product for where they ultimately want to be in their life/business, and they still need your support. They lean in the right amount, you lean in the right amount = sales magic!
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