One of my favorite movies is You’ve Got Mail. Not sure why I came to like it so much, especially since it’s at a bit of a different end of the spectrum than one of my other favorite movies – The Fast and the Furious.

My wife laughs at me when I get excited to see it pop up on a streaming platform or guide. Partly I like the romantic story side, and partly the business part of the story.

Business vs. Personal

There is one short dialog that is constantly running through my mind, especially for salespeople. If you haven’t seen the movie – Joe Fox’s family opened a mega bookstore (think Super Barnes and Noble) which ends up putting Kathleen Kelly’s little neighborhood bookstore out of business.

This brings up an interesting cross-section in business, and especially in sales: when is it just business, and when should you take it personally?

When It’s Not Personal, It’s Just Business

My philosophy is that if you do everything you can and should do—such as following the proven sales process—then if that prospect doesn’t buy/sign up/enroll, don’t take it personally.

If you left it all on the field, meaning you did everything right, and still didn’t close the deal, then the rejection isn’t about you. Everyone has stress or life situations that may affect their decision-making. There are often outside factors influencing them, which means their rejection of your sales efforts isn’t personal; it’s business.

In those moments, it’s important to let the rejection go and move onto the next one.

However, if you:

• Didn’t do everything you could or should have,
• Didn’t follow the proven sales process,
• Failed to build sufficient rapport,
• Gave a weak discovery and didn’t actively listen to their needs,
• Over-explained or lectured the prospect,
• Mishandled objections, questions, or concerns...

Then, the lost sale is personal. It’s on you.

If you didn’t do your job when it mattered, then this is a moment for reflection and growth. Learn from the experience to improve and avoid making the same mistake next time.

The Danger of Always Believing “It’s Just Business”

The challenge is that many salespeople live by the mantra "it’s not personal, it’s business" every time they lose. They don't consider the possibility that they may have been responsible for the loss.

In sports, sometimes a team loses because the other team performed better—no personal fault. But sometimes, the team loses due to their own poor performance. The latter loss is personal, and it stings more because it highlights areas where they didn’t give their best effort.

Conclusion: Did You Leave It All on the Field?

When you don’t get the sale, ask yourself: did you leave it all on the field? Did you do everything you could to help the prospect overcome their doubts and move forward?

As Kathleen Kelly said, “Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.”