My friend Steve Bederman [https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevebederman/], CEO of NobelBiz [https://nobelbiz.com/], said on a video recently that you can’t demand loyalty. You have to build trust. He was saying this relative to a call center team, and what it takes to succeed.

In the leadership blogs this week, I will talk about it from that perspective. But the same principle holds true for you – the sales professional.

The reason why is that sales = leadership, and leadership = sales.

Leading people is about setting a vision (destination) and finding people who want to be a part of it and persuading them as to why it’s right for them.

Sales is about setting a vision (destination) with that prospective customer as to where they would rather be in life/business, where your product could potentially help, and persuading them as to why it’s right for them.

But here is the key with persuasion – it’s not manipulation.

They are quite different when it comes to intent.

Manipulation is about getting what you want without regard to the other person’s wellbeing, future state, etc. “I want what I want…not really concerned with what you want or even what’s best for you.”

Persuasion is hopefully about helping someone get what they want for their reasons. And of course, in sales – we want that to be at the intersection of what we are offering.

The key with sales, persuasion, and leadership is the same – you cannot demand loyalty.

You cannot require your prospective customers, or even your customers once they have purchased, to be loyal.

You can’t demand anything from anyone.

Just because they filled out your webform doesn’t mean you can demand and require them to show up for a call or meeting or move the process forward on their end. They don’t work for you – you can’t demand things from your prospects. (By the way…we will cover it in the leadership side of things, but you can’t demand your employees to do much for you either – maybe short term, a few things, but they don’t have to stay with the company.)

Just because they walked into your store doesn’t mean you can demand loyalty and attention to stay through whatever presentation you have.

Instead of trying to demand loyalty – thinking that since they came to you, you ‘got them’ and they will want to buy from you – build trust.

Build trust such that loyalty follows.

Trust is defined as “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.”

With reliability, truth, and/or strength – trust follows.

And you cannot ask for trust. Never trust someone who says “it’s okay, you can trust me.”

Trust has to be proven and earned.

In sales, through the use of the Authentic Persuasion Pathway, to achieve the Trust stage, it takes a combination of Rapport followed by a Discovery phase that mixes Empathy and Active Listening.

As Bob Berg says – people will do business with people they know, like and trust.

First, they must know you.

Then they must like you.

And then…here is the missing part in Bob’s formula – you must convey to your prospect how much you care about them and their desired future state.

You cannot pretend to care about them as a ‘tactic’.

It must be genuine, if you want to develop genuine trust that will lead to a higher level of loyalty.

Don’t just do Discovery – asking some questions, looking for things you can use for/against them, and just checking the box in your sales process. 

Come from a place of Empathy – I see you are “here”…I want to help you get to where you would rather be, because I care about you.

You cannot demand your prospects and customers to be loyal. But you can develop a relationship based on Trust that will earn their loyalty.